abrupt

I am rough around the edges. I am not eloquent and soft and supple, my words are jumbled and stacked on top of each other and when I try to pull one out, they crash and I am left with another mess I don't want to clean up. I haven't let my thoughts pen freely and my writer's block is so massive it would take a civilization to write a sentence. I have forgotten what my voice sounds like; it is raspy and scratched and I wish it was reminiscent of a needle on a record, but it isn't. I am rusty and riddled with cheap words, I pause with an intention of continuing but I am unintentionally abrupt and that is my forte.